anger, resentment

a soup boiling on the stove

the pot, not in charge

It's not even 8 a.m. and I'm already annoyed with my husband.    We had a conference last night with old friends of his from high school and university, celebrating someone's 50th.  He's been pissy ever since.  What it essentially boils down to is him being incredibly upset that their lives are continuing and his is not.

And mine, I suppose.

So that's fun.  They all get to smile and talk about seeing Bob, and I get this moody person roaming my halls.  Gone is the good natured man I fell in love with and married and raised children with.  Gone is the joking, the smiles, and the joy.  He's had so much ripped away - his walking, his cycling, his driving, his traveling - that he just no longer faces the world with the joy I used to know and count on.

So it's just me, alone in this house.  Remembering who he was.  Grieving him while he's still here.