lesser of evil
is not a voting technique
and yet, all i have

This election is going to be a poop show.  I can't vote conservative with Ford in bed with the campaign life and anti-sex-education crazies.  How can I possibly vote for someone who entertains the thought of repealing sex education that speaks truth, that would consider changing abortion laws or gay rights?   He's in bed with the wrong folks.  And I can't vote liberal with the same leadership in place - a leadership that continues to lie to tax payers and make self-serving choices and be riddled with scandals.  While I like the sex education they've put in place (and I've actually read it, as a christian woman) and feel like it shows value to those who are in families that don't look like ones out of the 50s.   I wouldn't normally consider the NDP, mostly due to their relationship with unions, but let's face it, all political parties these days are beholden to unions. 

Thank goodness the local debates have been scheduled.

if i were skinny
nine pounds would be impressive
thirty one to go


I'm not complaining.  But I was kind of hoping that nine pounds would be more noticable, or after a night of saying "screw this" and having a hamburger and a beer, I wouldn't feel like barfing.  Four weeks ago it SUCKED to not have a burger and beer when I wanted - this morning I'm realizing that my body has quickly acclimatized to eating properly and is rejecting my bad behaviour.

It was the bourbon soaked brownie I regret most, even if Bob did eat 1/3 of it and the ice cream.

conflicting info
scientists like to debate
leaving me confused

This week at work we were discussing caloric intake.  Now, we all know the first rule of weight loss club is not to talk about weight loss club - but it came up and it was addressed.   I was explaining why I chose a salad for lunch (calories) while co-workers were talking about their new-found knowledge of intermittent fasting.

And so, I looked it up and read it.  It seems scientific and has doctors - nephrologists and weight loss specialists - supporting it.  However, there is also seemingly credible science that it doesn't work - different doctors in similar fields saying directly opposite of the first doctors.

Who knows.

 I don't know what the answer is, but counting calories and exercising more always works for me, when I'm taking it seriously.  I've lost 7 pounds in three weeks - but when I write that I think of my sister-in-law's father and a comment once "I could take a shit and lose seven pounds!"  My goal is not to be skinny - goals are supposed to be realistic - but rather to be healthy and strong and get through what this life is throwing at me.

picked up my shovel,

and crossed a dangerous street,

that's what neighbours do.

My day started oddly today - trapped at home due to weather and sitting in my kitchen having a coffee in my pajamas, reviewing reports to make wise statements about training's links to strategy - when I saw a younger version of myself stuck in some ice.

To say I got dressed is overselling the reality - in truth, I pulled on yoga pants and a workout shirt without benefit of bra or underwear, and prayed fervently that no one would ever see me without my winter coat on.  Slipping down ice and crossing the street, I navigated the ice to help a neighbour whose truck had lodged itself in a pile of unmelted ice at the end of the street.  

We laboured for a while, until her husband came to ignore me and berate her.  I stood, remembering the days when I might have been yelled at for my choices and demeaned for making a mistake, and once again thanked every star visible and not visible that this was no longer my reality.  

I packed up and went home.

To a flooded basement, but the resources and knowledge to work with it.  Life can be so challenging sometimes.

my dog is barking
i imagine killing her
over-reaction

It's been a boring weekend.  I tried to shovel, but with layers of ice upon layers of ice, I just wasn't strong enough.  We haven't lost power, just our minds - as we sit here and consume television and movies at a rate that is uncommon for us.  I tried to read but I'm nearly stir crazy.

Most Sundays find me moping about the house, wishing I had another day off.  This week, Sunday finds me checking the weather incessently, hoping for rain to wash away the ice so that I can go to work in the morning. While I'm rested and relaxed, I'm bored nearly out of my mind.

Our church sent out an email this morning.  And while almost every other church in the city cancelled services due to the weather, ours noted how diligent the worship team was for showing up and implored us to use caution as we drove in.  I don't see how disobeying a police directive to stay off the roads is "diligent", especially when I would class it as "stupidity". 

It seems I'm always sort of out of step with those who share my faith.

the power flickers

and i spring into actions

my race against time

Storm prep looks different when you live semi-rural.  While I may be able to walk to big box stores in less than an hour, I'm also on a well and septic.  And with an ice storm threatening, that means filling pails and bottles of water -we don't have running water or the pump to bring water to the toilet if the power goes out.  

It also means putting on the gas fireplace and heating the house a little better than usual, making sure blankets and beds are warm in case of a big freeze.  It's cozying up with movies and books and making sure there is food to consume that doesn't require an oven.  It's strange.

a warm cup of tea

sits silently between us

does not lack sweetness

I cut my hair today.  I was doing this thing where I was letting it grow and not dyeing it and seeing how much grey I had and trying to make my hair "healthier".  What they don't tell you, though, as you embark on such loftly adventures, is that not dyeing your hair and letting it grow makes it (and you) look like shit.

So I cut my hair.  And highlighted it.  And visited with my parents, my sister-in-law, and my cousin.  And drove, chatting to friends over the phone in my car.  

I've been sick, recently - fighting a fever and sore throat and emotional exhaustion.  I feel better for a few days, worse for a few days.  The haircut and girl-chats help.