a half marathon
even the word seems too long
what's life without goals?

Out for dinner with friends a few nights ago and we somehow end up talking about running half marathons and the two women of the dinner group - me being one - somehow find ourselves seriously thinking about training for a half.

Knowing full well a quarter would be stretching it - and that an eighth took training for me.  But goals. 

I know I've gained back weight since I was able to run a comfortable 5K.  Things have changed.  Back then, Bob could drive and dress himself and transfer without me.  Things are quite different now and I've taken on a lot more - physically and emotionally - and while my brain is saying "yes!  that would be good for you!" my spirit is saying "fuck, girl, you need sleep not running".   

As an aside, my internal dialogue calls me "girl" when I'm entertaining them and "chubby bitch" when we're discussing weight and exercise issues or internal selfishness issues.  As in "listen, you chubby bitch, you need to exercise".  I was joking while in Africa this summer, and walking 21000 steps a day that my fitbit was sending me messages like, "where dat chubby bitch at?".

I'm not completely sold on the half - but I suspect it would be good for my sense of well being and purpose, and relax me while I train.  I have no expections that I would ever run 22 kilometers or even 10 but I like the idea of pushing myself and clearing my head of everything I'm feeling and facing with Bob's illness.