clarity of thought,

moment of lucidity -

aging will not stop.

My right side hurts.  Sunday, we had a bad transfer and I hurt my knee and hip supporting too much of his weight.  Yesterday, he fell and trapped my hand between him and the power chair - crushing it until it bruised.  I feel my age this morning, slightly limping and hand thumping with pain.  And I'm a wee bit overwhelmed - after he fell and I hurt my hand, it took a minute or six to move the chair and lay him down on the floor - and as he already had to use the washroom..

And so, with a bruised hand and slight limp I cleaned him and my floor up, got the lift, lifted him and sat him in a chair, and went on with our evening.  I wondered how I might do it all, for the next twenty or so years, and what happens one day if my arm breaks or my knee sprains and I cannot get up the next morning to do it all again.  

And then I wonder when Covid will end, and when I will get a much needed break where I can sleep and relax with friends without having to help someone else.. just a few days away to rest not only my body, but my spirit.  If I knew on March 1st it would be my last in 3 or so months, I might have taken longer than an overmight.  

The weekend, aside from these incidents, felt a bit normal.  We had some visitors - outside, distancing, etc., with friends and family.  We volunteered, watched movies, bought plants.  I hiked with Jordie and Ben, and walked with a friend I haven't spent time with in two months.  I feel like this may have an end in sight.