i cannot handle
another thing going wrong
my heart is pounding


So.  It's been a terrible week.  Bob's appointments basically distilled down to one message:  he shouldn't be working and it's time to focus on his health - mentally and physically.  I'm hoping he hears this and does it.  I'm exhausted dealing with all of this while he putters through his work day like nothing's wrong.  His mental health is not great, he's torn his rotator cuff, and his range of motion is deteriorating quickly.  The final word:  take 3-6 months, if not forever, and do mindfulness training, physical therapy, and find something to do that you love.

And then my dog died.  We have three - it was my favourite.  Cancer - ruptured tumour - nothing we can do.  A terrible shock that I'm done reliving and just want to forget.

Yesterday, we picked up my husband's sister for a weekend visit.  She's lovely and it's a nice top to the week.  In Florida, Bob's brother and mother were going to visit with our son - the mentally ill homeless one who is currently "hobo camping" in Tampa.  We suggested that Bob's brother assess if his son needed anything and buy it for him, and we'd pay him back.  Our guidelines were:  toiletries, clothes, phone cards, groceries, be reasonable, nothing fencible.

Last night, we got the bill:  $400 US.  His brother got our homeless, mentally ill, drug using child:  a new phone, a new phone plan, clothes, toiletries, dog food, smokes, and other bullshit stuff.  Almost all of it fencible, an extra $40 in cash, and he also included the bill for the boy's lunch.

I'm so over the fucking rails angry.   And then had to listen to what a great visit he was but how worried grandma is about him.  YOU THINK?  All lunches are fucking amazing when there is $400 worth of crap, cash, and free lunch - and you'd be a fucking idiot not to worry about some hobo you barely know now having $400 worth of crap to fence, and some actual cash - as he heads into a punk music festival stoned and mentally ill.

Argh.  Can something please go right?