two shots espresso
my old mug is coffee stained
with happier times


It's dark in the mornings now.  I'm sitting in my office, one double americano under my belt (belt of my robe, folks, I'm working from home!), dogs laying by my feet, and Alexa giving me my needed facts before starting my day.

I went away on the weekend - drove 90 minutes north and visited an old friend for the evening.  Wine, food, walks, and silly games - we unpacked our lives and reconnected beside a river with a fast current.   I slept soundly before driving home.    I also had a personal day last week - after realizing I was so stressed I could barely think.  It was like my baseline got too high.

Even Monday, I found it hard to talk without crying.   Weird, after relaxing with a friend and unpacking some of my stress.  Between what's happening with my husband and with my brother, I seem to be fresh out of coping skills.  Being honest, I have neglected meditation and fully embraced alcoholism and sleep.  It looks suspiciously like depression, but who's got time for that?

In all seriousness, I feel good this morning.   Positive, optomistic, unafraid.  It's not even seven and I've been up for over an hour and have made breakfasts, lunches, and coffees while taking care of the dogs, writing email, and starting laundry.  I don't feel overwhelmed, but I haven't interacted with anyone besides Bob and his PSW.  And both are lovely.

It's also the kindness we've received over the last few days.  We problem solved, my friend and I, how we might bring Bob up to the cottage.  And then yesterday someone paid for my coffee in the drive thru - a small surprise that brought me to tears and threatened to ruin my make up before 7 a.m.  And then last night, after telling our friends that we can no longer join them for the potluck before our annual trip to the Panto (although we'd meet them at the Panto), our friends decided to build a ramp to the house we all meet at so Bob could get in.   

Sometimes, kindness opens the door just a crack and it doesn't feel so dark inside.