Rested - or maybe

A feeling that she's at peace

Fleeting, but lovely.

I'm 49, married, three kids, two dogs, one demanding career.

I wake up around 6:30.  I get my husband up - he has MS.  This means rolling him over and putting him into a sling to lift him with a mechanical lift and take him to the washroom.  While he's in there, I put last night's dishes away and make coffee, sometimes I fold laundry to ensure he has the right clothes to wear.  Before seven I unlock the door, lay out his clothes, and put the dogs in the back yard.  I also check work email, if I can.  If it has snowed and the plow has not yet come, I shovel.   If it's been 3 days since he's had a bowel movement, I give him a suppository.

His PSW is here for about an hour between 7 and 8.  He showers, dresses, and preps Bob for the day.  I usually check work email and lay out my clothes during this time.  

Around 8 I have my shower and get dressed, and am usually available for my first video conference around 8:30.  Pre-covid, I got up at 5, and was ready to leave for the city around 6, when his PSW arrived.

Our days are as days are.  He works in his office, I work in mine.  He leads a team of engineers and I work in learning.  I check on him between meetings - perhaps empty his urinal, grab him a snack or coffee, take in his lunch.  I plan and make dinner.  If he needs the toilet or drops anything, I am available.

After dinner, we watch TV or play video games - and I get him ready for bed.  I put the sling behind him in the wheelchair, bring the lift over, fasten everything on, undress him, wheel him to the bedroom and undo the sling.  I catheterize him, ensuring a better night's sleep for us both, and position him in bed.  After he's tucked in - rolled over, positioned, pillow correct, light off, sleep music on - I do more chores.  The dishes, start some laundry, plug in his phone and wheelchair, empty his urinal from the catheter and replace it with a clean one, put the dogs outside and to their room, and then start my sleep preparation.

It works.  For us.  We used to say that once he lost control of his bladder or bowels he'd be in a home, but he's not even 50 and he's still working and leading a team.  We used to worry about a power wheelchair, but we crossed that bridge, too.