i'm caught unaware -
anything can happen, when
answering the phone

Last night, I was going to go for a walk.  Actually, it was late yesterday afternoon, and I was going for a walk to amuse myself while Bob worked at the office on Good Friday.  I won't bore you with my rant about it being a holiday and my husband being at work - I'm not innocent of using personal time to get a few things done at work to catch up.

At any rate, my walk turned into coffee with an old friend that turned into a lesson on how to use my espresso machine. I can now make Americanos like no one's business.

We had a surprise visit from Bob's mother today - a layover turned into a cancellation, turned into a trip to the theatre and dinner out.  Quite lovely.  For those of you who used to read my blog when it was uncensored and unfiltered - you'll likely be disappointed at this post's account. 

I can make Americanos, now.

remembering pews
and stained glass windows, awesome,
church has changed since then.

I don't fit in at church.  I have friends there.  I like it.  But I really don't fit in.  This week, the bulletin was advertising a women's conference called, 'kick the boring out of your life".  I panicked, thinking that the boring parts are the parts I like and I didn't didn't want to get rid of those.  I'm not really a "hang out with women and talk about how our lives are boring/hard/whatever" chick and I'm especially not a girl who wants to go to a conference to hear some kitshy talk about womanhood from some woman who does a kitchy podcast with her daughter - both skinny, both talking about making time for yourself and God and getting blessed.  Yikes.

My life is a constant struggle.  I adore my husband but have a lot of stress taking care of him.  I love my job but find it stressful.  My kids are adults but one is mentally ill and addicted to drugs and tells people we abused him.  I love God but find the views of most christians repugnant. 

Kick the boring out?

No thanks.

sometimes i forget
to post the haiku I write
words become lost

poet laureate
unreasonable end goal
of poet-aster

mental health, reclaimed
a flag struck in the forest
birds singing of calm

gays and lesbians

the church debates accepting

late conversation

we doubt each other
you, with your puritan ways
and me, defiant.

surprised with a cake
how does that really happen
i am getting old

sisterhood is strange

sharing pieces of oneself

have another beer.

he plies me with tea
in a fancy new thermos
and i drink it up