he is late again
car is packed and i'm ready
standing in the sun.

twenty-one years old
still acting like a toddler
who drinks and does drugs.

packing my suitcase
i'm a liar; my laundry
isn't even done.

first day of new job -
exciting!  fresh!  let's kill this! -
overwhelmed puppy

your hand out, asking
and your mouth open, blaming
find something to do.

origin family
removing all confidence
past wrecking present

his ring, like sunshine,

exposes my skin to warmth

colours my outlook

conversations held

in deafening roars of crowds

and clinking glasses

a scene of pure joy:

rivers reflecting mountains

quietly in awe.

the plane's turbulence

a frightening reminder

that i am alive

when i mow the yard

i count my steps and wonder

why i am counting

my suicide note
will mention you replacing
your only daughter.

orphaned at forty

maybe not literally

but just as awful

fridays forgotten
date nights all bleed into one
he is always late.

experimenting
not everyone embracing
suggested changes

umbrella open

but not saving her from storms

nothing ever does.

sun warming my skin
i look up and burn my eyes
searing happiness

look, it's sunny out!

i see it from my office 

but not on weekends.

you, hands out to dance,
with me, afraid of shadows,
we inch across floors.

old love, burning kiln,

adding flavour to new wine

the fire of the past

wrapped in gold, finger

signifies his commitment, 

encourages her

her water droplets
hang steady from the petals
like hesitation

feminism moved

from equity to selfish;

monetizing greed.

his dusty guitar
no memory of music
in the quiet room

purging kitchen drawers
removing things i don't use
admitting failure

sunshine mixed with wind
long walks through little towns, and
three scoops of ice cream

breakfast with my boy
22 years goes by fast
he still makes me laugh

anti-climatic

when you cannot share your joy

but it still exists :)

questioning my faith
my brokenness consumes me
it's not what you think.

inadvertently
i listen to your warning
sent five years ago

music, memory,
i made up our connection
now we are strangers